It’s only Wednesday, but this week has seriously already been SO wonderful! On Monday my mom spontaneously came and visited me at school, and it was so much fun! We have thee cutest 50’s diner on campus that I absolutely love going to, and we went and ate and listened to 50’s music and got to catch up and it was just so great. Then this week has been a bit rainy, and I LOVE it when it rains. It smells so wonderful and I got to walk around campus and smell the rain and then come back to my dorm and feel all snuggly and warm and cozy when it’s so wet outside. I just loved it. And then! Have you seen the weather outside today? It’s absolutely beautiful! It’s just been such a great week.
Plus! The whole month of February has been super crazy busy for me school wise. I honestly had 4 tests, 2 projects, 1 paper and at least 7 quizes due. And that doesn’t include all the reading I had to do for my classes and my regular homework I had to do. So yeah. It was seriously insane and I’ve been working non-stop. I’ve practically been living in the computer lab these past couple of weeks haha. But! The really awesome part is that tomorrow it will be March! And I’m seriously SO excited because yesterday I had a test and today I had a project due and now I feel like I can finally take it easy for a few weeks! In March I only have my regular homework, plus only like 2 tests, and a quiz and a paper. So still working hard.. but not as overwhelming. Plus it’s Spring Break in less than 2 weeks and I just cannot stop smiling whenever I think about getting to relax for a few days!
So yes! This week has already been so completely fantastic! I can’t wait to see what the rest of the week holds :)
Hm. Well, I bite my nails. I’ve been told that it’s really gross to do that because your fingernails “have more germs than a toliet”. haha. So I suppose if that’s true, then chewing on my nails is pretty disgusting. So there ya go! “Something Disgusting I Do” :)
This weekend was pretty fantastic! I went home, and there is just something so wonderful and comforting about being back home and being with my family. On Friday my old High School was doing the musical Les Mis, which I love, and my youngest brother asked me to take him so we went to that. It was seriously SO good! I was actually shocked (in a really good way) with how well everyone did. It was just really awesome. I ended up crying because of how touched I was. (If you don’t know the story of Les Mis, you should seriously check it out. I’m actually reading the book for school right now and it’s really, really good. You can also go on youtube and watch the 25th Anniversary Concert they did in London.. it’s in HD quality and the whole thing is amazing). But yeah, it was just really great and espcially cool because a lot of my friends and people I knew from High School were in it, so it was really fun to see them all act and get into their characters.
Then on Saturday I went shopping with my family, and later that night a bunch of friends and I went to see Les Mis together. I started crying.. again. My friends were like, “Aw Mandy you were three seats away and I could still hear your sniffles!” hahaha I just laughed. I couldn’t help it! Such a beautiful story. Then my friend Charissa and I had a sleepover and watched the Incredibles (I seriously love that movie. I was so excited to watch it haha) and talked and just enjoyed getting to catch up after us both being away at school for awhile.
Sunday morning we went to church… and it ended up being such a blessing to me. After the message there was a time where the piano was played and everyone in the church had time to just be still and pray and bring before God anything that was on their hearts. It ended up being a real time of worship and surrendering to God and you could just tell he was there with us. I completely laid down what was on my heart, and I could tell God was there, reassuring me that nothing is impossible for him, and he holds my world in his loving hands. It was just a beautiful time of meeting with God.
So yeah! That’s a sneak peak into my wonderful weekend home. I love weekends like that. Only two more weeks until I’m home for a whole week! Three cheers for Spring Break! :)
13. A Date You Would Love To Go On.
Oh this is fun! Okay, so something about me? I absolutely LOVE the zoo! Seriously. Especially the elephants. I get super giddy when I see them and I love feeding them carrots and apples. I feel like such a little kid when I get to go to the zoo and see the animals and I honestly just smile the whole time and hum and sing and skip around with THEE biggest smile on my face. I would be the happiest girl if the right guy came and took me to the zoo for the day. I actually haven’t been to the zoo for like a year and a half, which is pretty sad. But the last time I went I honestly just had so much fun and loved every second of it. Here are some pictures of me feeding the animals! :)
Honestly, there’s still a lot that has been left unsettled between us.
The last real interaction we had was actually a few weeks ago, when he sent me a letter in the mail. It was so unexpected. But since then we haven’t really sat down and talked about the things in the letter or what happened leading up to it. And I feel like I really have no idea what page he’s on right now or what exactly his thoughts are concerning anything to do with us. It’s not like he’s said, “Hey, can we get coffee or something and sit down and talk about what happened?” and we talked about things and got some closure or started working things out or anything like that. And maybe he has no desire to. Like I said, I really have no idea what he’s thinking. But hey, if he cares and really wants to talk, then he’ll make an effort to make that happen. And if he doesn’t want to, then he won’t.
But really, any questions or thoughts or feelings I have or things I want to say and talk about with Ben I’ve just been bringing before God, and we’ve been working through this together. He has never once left my side, even through all the hurt, tears and unanswered questions. I am just so thankful and blessed that God loves me and hears the cries of my heart. I don’t really know much about what’s going to happen next, but I know I can definitely count on being able to talk through it with God. And really, knowing he’s here, is really more than enough for me.
This morning has been just wonderful!
I woke up early and got a lot of homework done before my first class. I did some laundry and started to pack for this weekend (I know, I know.. It’s only Tuesday and the weekend seems forever away. But hey! If I get packed now, then come Friday I don’t have to worry about it and can just grab my bag and head for home without a second thought. Sounds like a plan to me!) I’ve been listening to the most fantastic playlist while I do my homework and fold my clothes and I’m thoroughly enjoying humming and singing and smiling along. I made plans for dinner tonight with a close friend, had a lovely phone conversation with my mom before she leaves for her National Meeting tomorrow, and now I’m about to work on a homework/study schedule for the rest of the week.
Ah, being productive. Feels so fantastic. And of course, good music makes it all the better :)
Have a blessed day, friends!
If you’re sad or depressed, or if you just want someone to talk to, I’m here.
Go anon if you want to, tell me everything that’s making you sad.
I will not judge you.
I typically don’t do a lot of “reblogs”, but I really do mean this! If you need someone to talk to or need encouragement or want prayer for ANYTHING, just send me a message! No judgement: Just love.
I’ve never been one of those girls who always felt like they needed to have a boyfriend. I never even dated in High School. And it wasn’t like I never went to dances with guys or got asked out or anything. I just wasn’t interested in dating someone I couldn’t see myself marrying someday. And whenever I liked someone, I would just pray about it and trust what I felt God telling me. Some people may think not dating in high school sounds stupid. But you know what? I was seriously completely happy. I spent all of my time just having fun and hanging out with my friends, both guys and girls, and it was completely fantastic. I was just really content and enjoying life with God and friends, and that was awesome. Yeah, I won’t lie. There were definitely times when my friends would be dating a guy and they would be all cute together and I would kinda wish I would meet the guy for me. I mean honestly, who doesn’t have moments like that? But my thing was that I never wanted just ”a boyfriend”. My heart was completely set on waiting for Mr. Wonderful. And I really was completely content and happy and had the attitude of, “God, you know I’d be super jazzed to meet him soon, but really, I love my life so much. I’m totally cool with growing and learning in you and whenever you think I’m ready and he’s ready, then I’ll be super excited to meet him!”
And you know what? Even after all this time, I can honestly say my perspective is still the same. It’s definitely a stillness that God is giving me to not feel rushed or anxious about what He’s going to do next concerning a guy in my life. Especially now that a lot of my close friends are getting engaged and married (So crazy to think about.. We’re still so young! haha.) But honestly, I don’t hate being single. It’s not about “having a boyfriend” just for the label. Being single is actually a really cool gift from God. I feel like God has and is continuing to teach me so much when it’s just Him and I. And honestly, I seriously just feel so good about the future concerning Mr. Wonderful. I really don’t feel the need to be looking out for him or wondering when I’m going to meet him or what I should do if I already have. I’m not anxious or envious of my married friends. I still pray for my future husband constantly, but I just have this complete trust that God is molding him to be the strong leader and Godly man he needs to be. God will send him when he’s ready. And when I’m ready. Because lately I’ve been realizing more and more how it’s not so much about “finding the right person” as it is about “becoming the right person”. Which is just super cool to pray about and grow into the girl God wants me to be, and know that through God’s molding, I’m growing a heart that’s more like him, and learning how I’m going to make a really great wife someday. Super cool to think about.
So yeah! If you’re single.. Really, it’s worth the wait to trust that God knows SO much better than we do and to trust that his fantastic plan is going to be worked out. And really, God loves you SO much and wants your joy and fulfillment even more than you do! He’s crazy about you, friend! So keep seeking him and his heart and as you grow more like him, I can assure you that you’re going to realize just how much he wants to make all your dreams come true. And remember: You can’t find love until you fall in love with the one who made it. Let God love you and let him romance you. Falling more in love with the One who loves you will be the greatest romance you’ll ever have.
I hope this was a blessing in some way. Have a beautiful day, friends! :)
One day when we’re married, I’m going to take you to New York during Christmas-time/New Years. We’ll ice skate at the Rockefeller Center and take in what The Big Apple looks like at Christmas. I can’t wait.
I love you.
I love this! Anyone who really knows me knows how much I love New York City. Being there feels so completely wonderful and magical. I’ve never been around Christmas time though! I would seriously be the happiest girl if my future husband were to do this for me. We’d have so much fun!
Does anyone else find it completely ironic that every college student always talks about being a “poor college kid”, yet they’re all wearing Northface?
Can I go on a little rant here? Would that be okay?
Alright, so I’m in college. Which I fully understand means lots of hard work and studying and having to manage my time. I also fully realize that there are going to be times where I have to give up hanging out with friends and instead spend hours studying. I get that. I really do. But lately..
Here’s an example of how jumbled and fast-paced my mind has been:
"Okay so let’s think I need to first make sure I print off those notes for Math tomorrow which I can’t forget to change my alarm to get set for 6:50 and then after Math I need to head over to the Lily building where I can review my Environmental Conservation notes before class oh and next week on Wednesday is the exam so I need to start making notecards for that and then after class I have an hour so I can read Chpt 6 in Political Science and then I have World Lit so I need to make sure I read those 16 poems and write a sentence summary for each and then I have an hour break so I can do my math homework and then I have class and then after class I can grab dinner and bring it back to my room so I can get started on those 11 worksheets I need to get done by tomorrow and then I can read some more in my novel for World Lit because I’ve only read 20ish pages of that 800 page novel and that reminds me I have my World Lit midterm next week on Monday so I need to start making a study guide for that and Oh crap I also have another math test next week as well so I need to start studying for that plus I have my huge math project binder due the day after the exam so I need to organize all of that information and put it together and wow I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed so maybe I should close my eyes and take some deep breaths *fast deep breathing because I honestly cannot make myself slow down* Okay well that did nothing well I better start with the Environmental study first.."
And on it goes. And on. And on. And that is just ONE day.
My brain has honestly been on hyper speed mode these past few days. I try to stop and relax and pray about it, but even my prayers have been coming out super fast paced and I can’t make myself stop and just “Be Still”. I just have SO much to do and I keep thinking about how I can use every spare second to make sure I can get everything done on time. But it’s getting a bit ridiculous. Ya know, each day I make a daily schedule, each week a weekly one, and finally I have one for each month. And for the past few days I’ve scheduled in “Time with God”… and the past few days, I’ve cancelled on him each time.
Seriously, how wrong it is that I’m letting my college work eat away at my time with God? I KNOW only in time with him will I find true rest.. but I (disgustingly) find myself thinking, “God, I’m really sorry and I know this is so wrong but I have so much to do and I’m so tired and I will definitely make sure that soon we’ll spend some time together.” Ugh, I make myself sick. And just in the past hour I was reading through my College Study Skills Textbook, and this is what is honestly said:
"Postpone Social Activities: Place your schoolwork ahead of your social life. True friends will understand those priorities and spend time with you when you are available. There will be time for celebrating and seeing friends during school breaks and after you graduate and achieve your educational goals."
Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t work hard at school and not take it seriously. But honestly? I felt convicted and disgusted reading that. How dare they suggest that “Books and Studying” are more important than people? When a friend calls you in need, a "True Friend" doesn’t say, “Ohh sorry. I know you need to catch up and get coffee and want me to pray with you, but I can’t.. I have too much homework. Maybe in 2 years once I graduate?” I’m sorry, but "educational goals" are NEVER more important than people. Jesus wouldn’t have cared about getting a fancy degree from a well known college. He cares about people. Being there for them, loving them, encouraging and challenging them. And if someone tells me on campus that I need to spend less time encouraging and being there for others and more time studying, I will tell them they’re wrong.
Okay, maybe I’m taking this out of context or out of proportion. I may just be getting a bit overworked from a lack of sleep (which has become the norm lately). And I really do think getting the chance to go to college (for me) has been a huge blessing from God. And I really do want to do my best and work hard.
But honestly, lately I’ve been starting to think about some things. Like how on my campus everyone is overworking themselves. I had dinner with two close friends this week, and they were telling me how stressed they are, how bad their days have been, and how they’re overwhelmed with school. One even had tears in her eyes. I know my University is a top academic school and one of the hardest in the country to get an “A” in and all that jazz, but still. How pathetic it is when I am working myself so much that I don’t even allow myself time with God? How, if everything else is completely worthless compared to tuly knowing God, which I wholeheartedly believe to be true, then why am I choosing to study even more instead of making him first? And, if “the last will be first and the first will be last”.. then why am I and everyone else on campus working so incredibly hard to be “first”.. working ourselves to the bone to make sure we get the best job, the best internship, the best of everything? And don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t work hard, or want a great job or internship, or great grades. Hard work is important. But I’m positive that working myself until I’m exhausted and worn out and find myself sacrificing time with Jesus to bust my butt to get an “A” is NOT what God wants for me. And frankly, it’s not what I want either. It’s time I start praying about finding a happy medium concerning school.
Okay, thanks for listening/reading. I fully realize this rant was incredibly long. But it’s just something I need to say, and process, and I definitely need to be praying about. Tonight I am finishing up homework early. It’s time I re-shift my focus and have some quality time being still with my God. Hopefully this ranting post was somewhat encouraging to you to also have a reality check with your priorities, and encourages you to do the same. If anyone in college/grad school/high school/middle school wants prayer for school (or anything else actually) just message me. I know how stressful school can be. I would love to pray for you!
Thanks for listening!
Okay so you know that video I JUST posted down below?
Yeah, I seriously LOVE this kid! haha. I can’t stop checking out his videos. Such awesome messages, and he is SO funny I honestly just laugh like the whole time. I just finished watching his, “Ten Ways To Get Girls To Like You.” anddd I seriously couldn’t stop laughing and thinking, “This guy is right on!”. I’m actually considering getting a youtube channel just so I can subscribe haha. So yeah!
Below is the link to his youtube page. You should DEFINITELY check him out!
I love this. :)
Okay, I SERIOUSLY love this! “Ten Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You.” SO good! And not to mention freaking hilarious hahaha.
Well, I really can’t say I’m a fan.. I mean, I’ve never drank alcohol and I’ve never done drugs. I just really have no desire to. And I think sometimes (especially for people who claim to be Christians) it’s easy for us to look down upon and frown when we see people who drink a lot and party and get wasted and do drugs. But honestly, my heart kinda breaks when I see people living that kind of lifestyle. I don’t think they’re bad people. I just think they want to feel accepted, or fill a hole in their life, or they just want an escape. Which I think all of us feel that sometimes we just need to escape reality for awhile. Some people escape through a good book. Some through music. Some through drinking. Some through being with their friends. Some through drugs. Some through making art. Some through writing. And I’m not saying drugs and alcohol are okay and that I’m comparing them to reading a novel. Because it’s not okay. But we all feel the need to escape sometimes.. Although, I can honestly say that if you’re feeling like you need to get away from reality for awhile, the only way to feel complete joy, love, peace and satisfaction is by escaping into the arms of God. I’m not trying to play good little Christian girl here. I’m being completely serious. I’ve gone through some seriously crappy things in my life too, and while I love escaping into the world of books and music and journaling.. there really is nothing like escaping into the arms of Daddy God who seriously loves us with this beautifully passionate love and who wants to take care of us, comfort us, and ease our pain. It seriously is the best place to be. And sorry if that sounded all “preachy”. Honestly wasn’t what I was going for. I just had to be honest. I hope everyone who is looking for an escape or a release realizes how completely unsatisfying drugs and getting drunk are compared to the freedom and acceptance that comes from running into the arms of God.
I am seriously so excited for Spring Break. And I’m not even doing anything remotely cool like jetting off to the beach or anything else super exciting. But I have been SO busy with school that it’s been really hitting me lately how much I REALLY miss doing my favorite things. Things like reading my favorite books and watching my favorite movies. I’ve been seriously dying for weeks now to re-read Pride and Prejudice. I can hardly wait to snuggle in cute jams with lots of blankets and see Marty and Doc go back in time again. And oh, how I miss Lucy. It’s honestly almost driving me crazy how long it’s been since I’ve watched I Love Lucy haha. If you know me well, you know how much I love my Lucy times. Sakes alive I miss that funny girl. And I absolutely cannot wait until Spring Break is finally here and I can just put down the textbooks and actually relax. A whole week of Lucy, Marty and Lizzie Bennet? That seriously sounds so wonderful right now.
Spring Break, can you hurry, pretty please? :)